The Dream

My maternal grandparents were my Catholic rock.  They were devout Catholics, never missing a week of mass.  Grandpa taught me the Our Father and the Hail Mary when I was about 6 years old and told me that when I couldn't get to sleep, to use that time saying my prayers.  He was my Confirmation sponsor and I couldn't have been more proud of that.  Grandma kept a small figure of the infant Jesus on her dresser and a beautiful portrait of the Sacred Heart of Jesus in her hallway next to the kitchen.  She always sang the songs at mass and I loved listening to her.  I enjoyed going to mass with them.  One of the parishes we went to had a little gift shop and after mass, Grandma would buy me a little booklet of the lives of the saints.  Every now and again they would have another issue and I eventually acquired all 4 of them.  As an adult, I bought the same lives of the saints stories in a complete book and I treasure it to this day.

They passed away about 15 years ago (within a year of each other).  It has left a huge hole in my heart and I miss them very much.  One night about 5 years later I had a very profound and detailed dream about them:

It started out where I was sitting in what seemed like a small classroom.  The walls were chain-link fence and there was a stairway going up one side.  I was at a small desk, the kind you see in a college classroom - open on one side.  I remember having a feeling of anticipation and not really even noticing anyone else around me - and there definitely were others in the room at desks, too.  I also didn't notice what was outside through the chain-link walls.   Then a figure came halfway down the stairs and called my name.  I had the sense she was female, but I don't remember her having a face.  She wore a hooded robe and seemed to be floating slightly off the ground.  It was a very friendly and calming presence and I had no fear.  I immediately got up and followed her up the stairs.  At the top of the stairs, there was a long hallway that we walked along.  Every 10-15 feet or so on both the left and right sides was an archway leading into a room or sorts.  I saw the archways, but the insides of each room were completely black.  It was as if I was not meant to see inside a room that wasn't meant for me.  The blackness of each room was framed with an open, heavy red curtain - almost theater-like.  We walked down the hallway, side-by-side.  She still had no face and seems to float along.  Then she turned toward me and said, "Would you like to see your grandparents?".  I remember excitedly saying, "YES!", not expecting to hear that.  We came to one of the archways and the figure pointed and told me to go ahead inside.  I walked into the blackness and it immediately brightened up to reveal a room, similar to a hotel room with a large bed in the middle.  Grandpa walked right over to me, smiling.  He must have been 50 years younger than I remember him.  He looked great.  His hair was dark and he had a small mustache and a hat on.  We hugged and I remember feeling so happy and crying.  Grandma was sitting on the bed and looked a bit nervous.  I went over to her and we hugged.  I had a feeling she wasn't sure where she was.  Neither of them spoke a single word.  Then I remember feeling as if it was time for me leave them and I walked out of the room back into the hallway.  When I looked back into the room, all I saw was the blackness again.  I was alone.  I started to walk down the hallway some more and I came to a huge open bright room that reminded me of a cafeteria, with empty round tables and sturdy chairs.  No one was here either.  I looked up and saw that the very high ceiling had a huge square cutout - almost as large as the room itself.  Attached to the edges of the open ceiling was a heavy rope net, as big as the hole and hanging down from it.  I remember thinking that the net was there to catch someone who was falling into the room.  I remember feeling a great urge to know what that ceiling opening led to.  I walked to the middle of the room, stood on a table and reached up to try and grab the net.  Looking up at the opening, I saw a very dark, starry night sky and felt a breeze.  As I tried looking closer, I woke up.

My dreams are never this vivid and detailed - and long.  I felt different when I woke up - as if I had just come back from a journey.  My mind felt confused, I was breathing heavily, and I remembered every single detail.  I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and choppily wrote down what I remembered.  I told my mom about it later and she believes I actually did have a visit with my grandparents.  

When I thought it would be an interesting blog topic to write about, I didn't even need that paper (no idea where it could be after 15 years anyway) because in thinking about it just now, I still remember every single detail.  As a matter of fact, in the blog just now, I wrote down all the things about that dream I remember - down to what I was feeling, what the walls looked like, and more about the robed figure.  These are things I had never written down or told anyone before.  

So take from it what you will.  I believe my consciousness went somewhere else.   I have been comforted by it, knowing my grandparents are still together and live on, somewhere beyond this world, and that they still love us and will be there when it's our time to move on.